


Hint of Saloon.  1/1.

by punky_96



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 23:23:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14007105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punky_96/pseuds/punky_96
Summary: Re-post from LJ.Crack: Weird things happening when people say things at Runway & find themselves in AUs.Author’s Notes: It was quite literally all Nigel’s fault.Credit: I always go back to Chillyflame’s western AU when I think of western DWP. “Handsome & Pretty.”





	Hint of Saloon.  1/1.

_**Hint of Saloon**_  
  
“Well, you know me, give me a full ballerina skirt and a hint of saloon and I’m on board.”  
  
As soon as he said it, he wished he could take back the words. Too many weird things had been happening. Just last week they had been fighting a zombie Apocalypse after one of Miranda’s eye rolls. The week before, they found themselves at 10,000 feet ready to jump. He wondered what kind of trans-dimensional worm-hole had opened up under the Elias-Clark building. Well, he hoped it was just the Elias-Clark building. So far no photo shoots had ended up in Atlantis or anything, but he wasn’t too comforted by that fact, as he looked around himself taking in the full ballerina skirts, generous cleavage and shocked expressions on the others’ faces. Looking down at his own buckskin vest, bolo tie, and dark brown leather chaps—well, he couldn’t deny his pleasure. Indeed, if the bulge in his pants was anything to go by—he was truly on board. Smiling awkwardly at Miranda, he reached up to tip his hat to her. “Sorry, ma’am.” Nigel said with a hint of confusion not only caused by the hat, but by his choice of words.  
  
Her raised eyebrow had him hoping that the hint of saloon would kick in soon.  
  
“The girls should be ready. Every delay costs me money. Kipling!” They all turned on the short little man entering what now seemed to be some kind of back stage area. Irv Ravitz must have been within whatever blasting radius this worm-hole had, because he didn’t always appear when they made a jump. Or rather he had not been with them when they had jumped the last two times. Nigel frowned at the little man thinking it would have been much better if Adam had been sucked in, instead of Irv Ravitz.  
  
Shrugging Nigel turned to Miranda, “Well, the show must go on then.”  
  
Her narrowed eyes promised certain pain, but she moved forward the others falling in behind her as they stepped out. As if possessed or living someone else’s lines they moved their way through a mellow drama complete with raised back heels, audience cheering and a kiss.  
  
After the show, Nigel finally got his hint of saloon. They had closed the theater/bar down and gathered around one of the round tables toasting a successful show and wondering about the circumstances. “Nigel, what are we going to have to do this time?” Miranda fixed him with her glare. She hadn’t appreciated the zombie goo on her outfit, but it was nice to slay them all. Accomplishment, no matter how messy was always welcome.  
  
Suddenly the door slammed open letting in the tempestuous wind as it did. Stepping in from the cold was the one and only Irv Ravitz. The look on his face was menacing. They all stood. Nigel’s hands went instinctively to his hips feeling for the pearl handles of his six-shooters. Andrea stood in front of Miranda reaching back to hold her safely. Their petticoats pressed against each other rustling and reminding Miranda of how wonderful she looked during the dance numbers of the show. Jocelyn and her assistant held hands and stepped away from the table.  
  
“Miranda, you have cost me money for the last time.” He stepped past a shocked Nigel and pushed Andrea roughly out of the way. Nigel reached out stopping Andrea’s fall. He held her from behind as Irv grabbed Miranda by the shoulders. “You leave tonight.”  
  
Even in the heat of the moment, Andrea reviewed their last jumps. They had to kill the zombies. They had to jump out of that plane—it’s what paratroopers did. Tonight, they had been thrust into the wild-west—into a saloon, a melodrama, and now a quarrel. Andrea gasped as Irv’s hands slipped up to Miranda’s throat. She knew what she had to do.  
  
The crack of the pistol, the slow shudder of Irv’s body as it slipped to the ground, and the look that passed between blue and brown eyes—all flashed by in an instant.  
  
“He was hurting you. I had to.” Andrea rushed to Miranda checking her over with her eyes and hands all at once. Their eyes locked as Miranda held Andrea’s hands and their wild eyes found each other.  
  
Adam and a group of rain soaked men came running in the aftermath. Nigel felt his pants tighten as his eyes took in the gold star on Adam’s chest and the tight black chaps he wore. “We saw him coming and knew there’d be trouble. You ok, Mister Nigel?” Adam looked like he wanted to tackle Nigel to the ground, but he held back. They were in mixed company after all.  
  
As people rushed around moving the body, cleaning up, and generally making themselves busy the scene dissolved until they were back Miranda’s office.  
  
The dress that began it all pressed against the blonde’s body as Miranda and Nigel discussed accessories. Andrea simply watched them wondering how they were able to keep it all straight in their heads. She was new, but she seriously wondered if she would ever catch on.  
  
Reality sinking in around their shoulders as if they were back in the roles they were meant to play, Nigel, Miranda, Andrea, the blonde, and Jocelyn all gasped. They exchanged looks but said nothing. Apparently the mission was accomplished and they were back to fight another day.  
  
After that reality rushed forward and they bobbed along on its current choosing outfits, accessories, and moving on as if nothing happened. Once Emily had been sent home and the Runway floor empty save for two women tapping on their keyboards—a peaceful quiet settled in.  
  
“Andrea.” Miranda smiled as she heard how quickly her favorite new assistant moved to join her. “Thank you, for saving me.” Leaning against her desk, Miranda toyed with the loose necklace between her fingers. Her look said so much more.  
  
“Of course, Miranda. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Andrea forced herself to breath deep.  
  
“You were quite fetching in your dress, Andrea.”  
  
Unable to help it Andrea’s eyes flicked down to Miranda’s cleavage as she remembered how beautiful she looked. “You were too.” She mumbled forcing herself to look up into Miranda’s eyes.  
  
Miranda stepped to the small closet and pulled out the dress that had started it all. “I’d like to see you in it again.”  
  
Andrea couldn’t help the rush of fluid in her panties as she watched Miranda stalk toward her. Miranda held the dress out and pressed it against Andrea’s body. She wasn’t sure if this would work, but she had hope. ‘I live on it.’ She thought as she let her hand slip against Andrea’s body and reach around holding the brunette’s hip and the dress at the same time. “I agree with Nigel.” Miranda said as she looked into deep brown eyes. “Give me a hint of saloon—”  
  
“—I’m on board.” Andrea finished for her in a whisper choked with want.  
  
The room was small, with a chest of drawers, a gas lamp lighting the room, and a bed with a cover from the set of Bonanza. The wood frame window was open allowing a breeze to caress their hair as they stood close, like lovers. Outside sounds of horses and people talking could be heard.  
  
With nothing between them at last, Miranda cupped Andrea’s cheek, searching her eyes. The fluttering of her eyelids answered for her as the brunette leaned forward brushing her lips once, twice against Miranda’s. It was on the third gentle caress that they pressed and held, waiting for the other, then opening slowly and sliding tongues out to meet in a dramatic way that had them each raising a heel up behind them.  
  
Miranda turned them in the kiss until Andrea was backed up against the bed and then falling against it. Crawling up onto the bed with her, Miranda wasted no time lifting up dress and petticoats. Their lips continued to caress each other as hands wandered and hearts pounded. Fumbling fingers found confidence in wet folds as they kissed and rolled and stroked and thrust. Soon the light from the lamp burned itself out and the sounds from outside quieted down. The breeze was cool, but the heat between their now naked bodies was enough. After much practice they held their eyes open, touching in tandem until they were each gritting their teeth and huffing before jumping together off the cliff and riding away into the sunset.  
  
Lazily they curled against each other in the afterglow. “You knew we would come here?” Andrea traced Miranda’s lips as she asked her question. Not much had really ever been said between them, but fighting zombies, parachuting, and then killing a man about said enough of the attraction between them.  
  
“I hoped.” Miranda agreed and then kissed Andrea’s finger.  
  
Looking around uncertainly, Andrea cupped Miranda’s cheek and whispered, “What if we can’t get back this time?”  
  
Taking Andrea’s hand in her own, Miranda kissed the palm gently. Looking intently into Andrea’s eyes she said, “The Wild West has always symbolized a time when anything can be accomplished. To be stuck here with you, would be quite the adventure.” Miranda pulled Andrea forward into a kiss that would renew the fires of their passions until they were spent once more. They slept together until the dawn.

***   ***   ***  
  
“Mom!” Twin voices were heading toward the door.  
  
Miranda curled against her lover tightly and slipped her hand over her mouth. The girls would not come in. She knew that, but she knew that Andrea didn’t know. She supposed waking up naked with her new lover in her own bed was probably better than waking up on the floor of her office. Still part of her thought it was a shame that they wouldn’t be able to conquer the wild west after all.  
  
“Yes, bobbsey’s.” Miranda called out, holding even tighter as Andrea woke and wiggled against her.  
  
“Can we have pancakes for breakfast?” They shouted.  
  
Rolling her eyes, Miranda knew the quickest solution. “Yes. I’ll be down in a minute.”  
  
Their footsteps announced their departure. Miranda released her hold on Andrea’s mouth, but made no move to separate their bodies. Andrea rolled so she could face Miranda, “What does this mean?”  
  
“That’s for us to find out, I think.” With that Miranda proceeded to kiss her like it was still the wild wild wild west.  
  
The twins may have been upset that their mother took longer than ‘a minute’. They may also have been surprised to see their mom had a girlfriend. However, they were quite simply delighted that the brunette who they hadn’t met yet was quite capable of flipping chocolate chip pancakes with a dramatic flair. They were also delighted that their mother seemed genuinely happy for once.  
  
Later they shared a few private words between themselves, “A girl?”  
  
The other gave her a wide-eyed smile, “If mom’s happy—” she started.  
  
“I’m on board.” The other finished for her. They both nodded.  
  
 **The End.**  
  
x


End file.
